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Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49774) - you deserved it (17157)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (142192) - you deserved it (32735)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53819) - you deserved it (12803)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, while biking I got into a major crash with two cars. The cars were parked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9009) - you deserved it (39239)
On 05/16/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Pokerking98 - United States (Texas)
Today, in my art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat, old woman. About halfway through the piece, and while painting her fat rolls, I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32424) - you deserved it (5423)
On 05/15/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by artclasstrauma (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I told my parents I wanted them to meet my new partner. My mom went into a rant about how she had known I was gay for a while and asked how I was going to tell my husband. I am straight, madly in love with my husband, and was referring to my business partner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41662) - you deserved it (2763)
On 05/14/2009 at 10:37pm - love - by alicemassie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I ordered a graduation cake from a woman at the grocery store. She asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I said "Congratulations Annie". Then she asked me who was ordering and I said "Annie". I had to order my own cake. The woman was silent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41338) - you deserved it (4732)
On 05/14/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Annebelle (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. Well while in the movie theater I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said "You're so funny I'm so glad we're friends". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49610) - you deserved it (3761)
On 05/14/2009 at 11:22am - love - by heartbreakkid21 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46110) - you deserved it (7236)
On 05/13/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by paprgrl421 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18442) - you deserved it (45404)
On 05/12/2009 at 7:09am - misc - by Rech (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50665) - you deserved it (2368)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82473) - you deserved it (6582)
On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8361) - you deserved it (46485)
On 05/09/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by ugheffmylife - United States (California)
Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43681) - you deserved it (4160)
On 05/09/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67420) - you deserved it (3333)
On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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