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About VivaLaColdplay : Elloh! :D
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML
Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, I went shopping with a friend. She picked up a hundred dollars on the floor that somebody dropped. I told her, "I feel sorry for the retard who dropped the money." When I got home, I checked my purse and realized that I was missing a hundred dollars. FML
Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I ordered an xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML
Friday 18 July 2014