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Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113509) - you deserved it (6693)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75439) - you deserved it (7518)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45707) - you deserved it (4832)
On 06/12/2009 at 12:49am - kids - by downlowtooslow (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46827) - you deserved it (2267)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was my girlfriends birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71101) - you deserved it (5307)
On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35129) - you deserved it (4874)
On 06/09/2009 at 3:39pm - work - by IronMonkey (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91013) - you deserved it (3248)
On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73212) - you deserved it (15327)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82125) - you deserved it (4961)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55305) - you deserved it (2341)
On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56415) - you deserved it (5097)
On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44224) - you deserved it (6273)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - kids - by EwFace (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55369) - you deserved it (3762)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38787) - you deserved it (8794)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got a computer. When I opened it, I found out that my dad had made himself the administrator. He made it so everything shut off after 11 o'clock, and made it so I couldn't download anything without his password. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53792) - you deserved it (6062)
On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - misc - by graduate - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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