Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

VivaLaColdplay

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

VivaLaColdplay

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 32613
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About VivaLaColdplay : Elloh! :D

VivaLaColdplay's page activity

Visits<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:34pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:08am<b>wysteria14</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 12:41pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 9:30pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:13pm<b>acommonman</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:48am<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:32pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 8:45am<b>flupsht</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 4:05pm<b>Beealicious</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:43pm<b>labaro19</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:46pm<b>makkarari</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:13pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:22am<b>aleximo</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 4:06am<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:02am<b>MetalxSoldier</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:07pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 11:56pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:20pm

Fucked!<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:34pm<b>wysteria14</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:41pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:13pm<b>makkarari</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:13am<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:34am<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:13pm

VivaLaColdplay's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of VivaLaColdplay's badges

VivaLaColdplay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50593) - you deserved it (6802)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48926) - you deserved it (6982)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, every house in my neighborhood was vandalized. They skipped our house. Everybody thinks it was me. FML

#21209396
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52995) - you deserved it (3955)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm - misc - by chloecamp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45422) - you deserved it (8482)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

#21206280
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38182) - you deserved it (3457)

On 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

#21206148
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45503) - you deserved it (4158)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by morgan_rumm (woman) -

Today, at my local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML

#21202986
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40853) - you deserved it (12456)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

#21196465
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47394) - you deserved it (4571)

On 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62313) - you deserved it (4827)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

#21187469
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53798) - you deserved it (5892)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by headdesk (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44764) - you deserved it (13906)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52577) - you deserved it (4621)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: