Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

VivaLaColdplay

Online | Search for a member

VivaLaColdplay

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18547
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About VivaLaColdplay : Elloh! :D

VivaLaColdplay's page activity

Visits<b>hotel135</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:40am<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 5:44pm<b>AwkwardShoe</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:20pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 11:47am<b>briang959</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 9:22am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 6:34pm<b>Cynical_D_Luffy</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:09pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:10pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 7:31am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 2:57am<b>arrow007archer</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:57pm<b>swiftous</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:22pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 3:49pm<b>DarkCaesar</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:00am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 6:08pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:43pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 1:21pm

VivaLaColdplay's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of VivaLaColdplay's badges

VivaLaColdplay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of bordom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (2516)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34478) - you deserved it (5188)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40357) - you deserved it (7169)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37288) - you deserved it (22848)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34075) - you deserved it (3038)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47010) - you deserved it (3687)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38565) - you deserved it (6693)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50337) - you deserved it (6777)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46668) - you deserved it (6622)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: