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Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20943) - you deserved it (1764)
On 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12223) - you deserved it (26251)
On 06/18/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by kittykittyrun (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30836) - you deserved it (11631)
On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)
Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30674) - you deserved it (8643)
On 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by jhughes1997 (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (3005) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39019) - you deserved it (16158)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (2758)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom
Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40807) - you deserved it (20402)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40750) - you deserved it (5254)
On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50674) - you deserved it (13757)
On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48563) - you deserved it (4642)
On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50745) - you deserved it (8925)
On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by jack - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44046) - you deserved it (3578)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by nicholascageonyourface (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46068) - you deserved it (8849)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46714) - you deserved it (2387)
On 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by luciazee (woman) - Peru (Lima)
Monday 17 June 2013
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