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VivaLaColdplay's favorite FMLs
Today I found out that paying $40 for next-day shipping doesn't ensure that you'll receive the item the next day or even the next week. I assumed it was my fault for ordering too late into the holiday season. Turns out they never shipped it. When I finally received it 10 days late, it was the wrong item. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML
by dieders / 11/21/2016 at 1:34am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm 8 weeks pregnant and suffering from severe pregnancy brain. I was making my husband's lunch to take to work. I realised shortly after he left that I'd used dish soap instead of BBQ sauce for his sandwich. He has to turn his phone off for work, so I have no way to warn him. FML
by Stupid Pregnancy Brain / 11/18/2016 at 8:45am / Love
Today, I was walking to a bathroom on campus before class when my professor walked in behind me. There were two urinals in the bathroom, we walked right up next to each other and unzipped our pants in unison. It became so awkward for me, I actually said out loud, "Nope, too awkward" and left. FML
by beetregeneration / 11/16/2016 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Work
by toametru1 / 11/09/2016 at 2:08am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by mycountryisdumb / 11/09/2016 at 1:54am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
by SnapeIsGood / 11/08/2016 at 4:44am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Health
by invasive species / 11/07/2016 at 10:08am / Miscellaneous
by Wheresthecreamfilling / 11/03/2016 at 2:03am / Intimacy
Today, I rode my newly-purchased bicycle to Lowe's to look at flooring and back splashes for our upcoming remodel. Upon leaving the store, I found out that my bicycle had been stolen by someone who had bought a hacksaw from that store while I was shopping. They left the receipt to mock me. FML
by HomeImprover / 11/02/2016 at 1:34pm / Transportation
by LittleLou / 10/16/2016 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy