About Vinyl_Scratch_ : I'm a the best DJ of them all, I live in an wicked little town called ponyville. I live with my great friend Octavia.
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Vinyl_Scratch_'s favorite FMLs
Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML
by lolwut / 09/11/2014 at 2:33am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I got an angry call to the phone shop where I work. The caller demanded that we give him his money back. His reason? He said he'd been tricked because his phone got ruined by water "even though he was using the waterproof application". FML
by OwlSaysBlimey / 11/17/2013 at 2:38am / Sweden / Work
Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML
by _sempiternus / 11/16/2013 at 11:18am / United States / Health
Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML
by hope they slash you next, mom / 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by baconbxtch / 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by mamaflower / 08/19/2013 at 4:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML
by iwannagotomiamitoo / 08/19/2013 at 12:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML
by Having a pretty sister sucks. / 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML
by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/17/2013 at 6:52am / United States / Kids
Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML
by mugres22 / 08/17/2013 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
by JacksWag4 / 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm / Switzerland / Miscellaneous
Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML
by momma / 08/16/2013 at 11:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML
by insomniac x2 / 08/15/2013 at 3:56pm / Mexico (Nuevo Leon) / Miscellaneous