About VikingPlaya86 : I'm pretty nice and, easy to get a long. I randomly smile at times. :) I'm just living life and enjoying the ride.
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VikingPlaya86's favorite FMLs
Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm / United States / Health
by nopanties / 03/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by DEATHBYEX1LE / 03/04/2013 at 12:01am / Australia / Love
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm / Germany (Bayern) / Work
by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Ihatemylife / 03/03/2013 at 7:17am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
by jkbeynon / 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
by Anonymous / 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML
by tax-man / 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy
Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML
by anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 10:52am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Ugh / 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML
by DumbCuntApparently / 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
by crétin-crédule / 02/26/2013 at 12:02am / France (Limousin) / Love
- Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make… Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into… Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed.…