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About VictoriaSchultz : My name is Victoria :)
I don't care much for people who think their the "baddest bitch" or "the shit".
If you got to know me you'd see that I'm a nice person :)
But I have my moments when people piss the fuck out of me..
Don't judge me from my looks because inside is so much deeper.
I'm from Canada :)
Speak Spanish and French :P
I love to travel
And you're still creeping on me o.O
Well I like to talk to people
Message me up on here if you want
Or add me on kik: Victoria5647
Hmm.. I'm on here for laughs really!
Even though some of these FMLs aren't great it's still nice to read them :P
Yeah well don't be shy and say hi :)
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Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML
Friday 22 May 2015