[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

VexVisnu

Search for a member

VexVisnu
  • Town/Country : U. S. A.
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2710
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About VexVisnu : Raised by the World, Fuck the Suburbs.

VexVisnu's last visitors

Rach_starBalenciagaBetch9yentzerautodidaddict

VexVisnu's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

VexVisnu's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

#429248 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (26083) - you deserved it (67343)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

#424816 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (229687) - you deserved it (18631)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (30888) - you deserved it (135596)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML

#407714 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (69028) - you deserved it (5040)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:25am - love - by isaacBENNETT (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298 (273)

I agree, your life sucks (29178) - you deserved it (159563)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML

#381498 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (118308) - you deserved it (14782)

On 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by gfg (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (44305) - you deserved it (25476)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

#379076 (311)

I agree, your life sucks (369920) - you deserved it (52432)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

#368302 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (54653) - you deserved it (35088)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML

#365324 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (125435) - you deserved it (14967)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by Screwed (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

#346119 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (91696) - you deserved it (11084)

On 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by MarMar (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (12902) - you deserved it (45112)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while working the register, a well dressed man around 6'3 came in and placed an order. After writing it down, I asked why he was dressed so nicely. He responded, "I'm going to court for stalking pretty girls like you." Our name tags have full names. FML

#102148 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (57824) - you deserved it (3558)

On 02/22/2009 at 3:04am - work - by ineedtomove (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML

#98668 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (35843) - you deserved it (6637)

On 02/21/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by Whothrewhim (man) - United States (Illinois)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

#98260 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (57691) - you deserved it (2071)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by well then... (woman) - United States (Illinois)