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VeraJK's favorite FMLs
Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML
by lpspann87 / 04/25/2011 at 1:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by bobo / 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by Username / 04/16/2011 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by HWS / 04/15/2011 at 1:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
by Anonymous / 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by anonymouse / 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm / Reserved / Intimacy
by handyjon / 02/28/2011 at 10:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2011 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Work
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
by :/ / 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a second notice from the mailman that my mail would not be delivered because of the pile of ice a plow had pushed in front of my mailbox. After getting the first notice, I'd spent an hour in the cold busting up the ice with a pick to clear a path. He put both notices in my mailbox. FML
by K / 02/15/2011 at 9:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by shredded / 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm / United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames) / Miscellaneous
Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML
by geoduck / 02/10/2011 at 12:31am / United States / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…