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VeraJK's favorite FMLs
by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML
by BelleCharmante / 07/14/2011 at 12:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek
by tony456 / 07/11/2011 at 5:08pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
by dummy / 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
Today, I received a $50 iTunes card for my birthday. I immediately sat down at my computer and starting buying all my newest favorites. Then I realized I never redeemed my card so the $50 was all charged to my account. FML
by brokeaf / 07/11/2011 at 3:09pm / United States / Money
by BMike / 07/11/2011 at 2:16pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML
by MakeItMaaco / 07/11/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by Username / 07/11/2011 at 1:42pm / United States / Health
by cocacoola / 07/11/2011 at 10:24am / Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla) / Kids
Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
by Mothering / 07/11/2011 at 5:25am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, it's my birthday. The present I received from my best friend was the exact same necklace which I gave to her for her birthday two months ago. It had been unwrapped and re-wrapped in the same paper. FML
by Vic / 07/11/2011 at 5:00am / Denmark / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago, asking if my 4-day-old son was his. I don't know what's sadder - the fact that he thinks a gestation period can last 11 months, or that he's more willing to step up to the plate than the baby's actual father. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Canuckster / 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML
by worstfatherever / 07/10/2011 at 4:54pm / United States / Animals
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, my economics teacher gives us a lot of photocopies, so I told her that she kills pandas by…