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Vennie98

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Vennie98
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  • Number of visits : 221
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31242) - you deserved it (4718)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10450) - you deserved it (61182)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (19790)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

#6884813
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7577) - you deserved it (39678)

On 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by funyfunkid (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36351) - you deserved it (2891)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML

#6379842
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8339) - you deserved it (23229)

On 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by pchis4ever (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML

#5001018
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38049) - you deserved it (3631)

On 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm - work - by iceman123432 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22835) - you deserved it (105453)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)



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