VeganVampyre

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Offline (the 06/13/2016 at 3:58am)

VeganVampyre

113Fucked!

VeganVampyre
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5743
  • Number of comments : 1122
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About VeganVampyre : No, I'm not actually vegan. I am a vampire though ;)
The name is because of an amazing novel called "Suck It Up". Read it. Now. The pic is me at Hallowe'en dressed as a vampire. The second pic is the stray kitty I recently took in and who my FML is about. I hope that's why you're here because I can't imagine why else you would be.
I don't care if this is the Internet, learn proper English! The Grammar Nazis WILL come for you! Of course, I am an English major so maybe I care more than most :P
I love reading, music, volleyball, snowboarding, and rock climbing. And sarcasm. Feel free to message me now that the app has that ability! :)

"I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request." That is all. Have a nice day =)

VeganVampyre's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 4:24pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 11:21pm<b>54754N4</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 11:20am<b>Imthedaddy11</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:51pm<b>seba7236</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 6:33am<b>Altairae</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 1:47pm<b>Jacob031300</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 10:22pm<b>BanjoCheeseGuy</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 6:11pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 12:41am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:17pm<b>Zatalmas</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 12:47pm<b>burgermike92</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 8:33pm<b>LiLMAMA0523</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 4:01pm<b>AlucardIT90</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 1:51am<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:49am<b>Rea516</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 10:54am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 11:41pm<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 10:24pm

Fucked!<b>Imthedaddy11</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 5:51am<b>Jacob031300</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 4:22am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 6:16pm<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 4:25am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:16pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:46am<b>PlsNarwals</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:05am<b>csjc</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 5:12pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 11:21am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 5:52am<b>Arni792</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 5:21am<b>A07</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 5:12am<b>zwright</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:10pm<b>laughingboy23</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 5:21pm<b>MasterTron</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 8:17pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 5:30pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 3:58pm<b>ilpazzo</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:54pm

VeganVampyre's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of VeganVampyre's badges

VeganVampyre's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML

by Awesome / 08/16/2011 at 8:05pm / Russian Federation / Kids

Today, I biked 15 km to my girlfriend's house in really heavy rain to surprise her. Turns out she's on holiday in Spain, and hadn't bothered to tell me. FML

by 800z / 08/16/2011 at 2:44am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

by **(: / 08/09/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

by lostforwords / 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm / Ireland (Tipperary) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

by nomorecookies / 08/06/2011 at 1:53am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

by Fred / 08/05/2011 at 1:45am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

by xBubbles38 / 07/18/2011 at 11:17am / United States / Kids

Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML

by Boo / 07/14/2011 at 4:59am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

by CatOwner / 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals