About VeganVampyre : You already know everything you need to know about me. If you want to know anything more, feel free to ask, however I can't promise an answer you'll like. Or any answer at all...
If your FML contains the words "I thought it would be a good idea/smart/funny to..." or "I was trying to impress..." it is automatically a YDI. No question, end of story.
"I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request." That is all. Have a nice day =)
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (1738)
On 08/16/2011 at 8:05pm - kids - by Awesome (woman) - Russian Federation
Today, I biked 15 km to my girlfriend's house in really heavy rain to surprise her. Turns out she's on holiday in Spain, and hadn't bothered to tell me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26223) - you deserved it (2965)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:44am - love - by 800z - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20686) - you deserved it (8230)
On 08/09/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by **(: - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17264) - you deserved it (4038)
On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)
Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23386) - you deserved it (2441)
On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40421) - you deserved it (1700)
On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)
Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (8608)
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11356) - you deserved it (32823)
On 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45773) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41229) - you deserved it (6104)
On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31992) - you deserved it (4366)
On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States
Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16387) - you deserved it (6379)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by Boo (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25671) - you deserved it (2115)
On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (54852)
On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (24882)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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