VeganVampyre

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Offline (the 06/13/2016 at 3:58am)

VeganVampyre

112Fucked!

VeganVampyre
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5680
  • Number of comments : 1122
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About VeganVampyre : No, I'm not actually vegan. I am a vampire though ;)
The name is because of an amazing novel called "Suck It Up". Read it. Now. The pic is me at Hallowe'en dressed as a vampire. The second pic is the stray kitty I recently took in and who my FML is about. I hope that's why you're here because I can't imagine why else you would be.
I don't care if this is the Internet, learn proper English! The Grammar Nazis WILL come for you! Of course, I am an English major so maybe I care more than most :P
I love reading, music, volleyball, snowboarding, and rock climbing. And sarcasm. Feel free to message me now that the app has that ability! :)

"I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request." That is all. Have a nice day =)

VeganVampyre's page activity

Visits<b>Jacob031300</b> - yesterday at 10:22pm<b>BanjoCheeseGuy</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 6:11pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 12:41am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:17pm<b>Zatalmas</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 12:47pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:55am<b>burgermike92</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 8:33pm<b>LiLMAMA0523</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 4:01pm<b>AlucardIT90</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 1:51am<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:49am<b>Rea516</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 10:54am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 11:41pm<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 10:24pm<b>h3llsbells</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 1:25pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 3:36pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:34pm<b>trevieh47</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 8:11pm<b>rivimatt</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 2:00pm

Fucked!<b>Jacob031300</b> - yesterday at 4:22am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 6:16pm<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 4:25am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:16pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:46am<b>PlsNarwals</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:05am<b>csjc</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 5:12pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 11:21am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 5:52am<b>Arni792</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 5:21am<b>A07</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 5:12am<b>zwright</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:10pm<b>laughingboy23</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 5:21pm<b>MasterTron</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 8:17pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 5:30pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 3:58pm<b>ilpazzo</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:54pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:32pm

VeganVampyre's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of VeganVampyre's badges

VeganVampyre's favorite FMLs

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

by keiran123 / 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

by Married2handsome / 06/16/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

by fuckedbyahipster / 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm / Finland / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 1:26am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML

by Crazy Mom / 06/10/2013 at 1:13am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

by Frazz / 06/10/2013 at 1:09am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

by Sean / 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm / United States / Health

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

by Mr_poole / 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

by Mr_poole / 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids