About VeganVampyre : You already know everything you need to know about me. If you want to know anything more, feel free to ask, however I can't promise an answer you'll like. Or any answer at all...
If your FML contains the words "I thought it would be a good idea/smart/funny to..." or "I was trying to impress..." it is automatically a YDI. No question, end of story.
"I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request." That is all. Have a nice day =)
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19209) - you deserved it (11679)
On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (4574)
On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28754) - you deserved it (4076)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23174) - you deserved it (2031)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27754) - you deserved it (4475)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24534) - you deserved it (1850)
On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11746) - you deserved it (24398)
On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)
Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9849) - you deserved it (49744)
On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9835) - you deserved it (30028)
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (21491)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37624) - you deserved it (3801)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54722) - you deserved it (2328)
On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18386) - you deserved it (10526)
On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22817) - you deserved it (3921)
On 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm - health - by Mack - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21452) - you deserved it (7074)
On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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