About VeganVampyre : You already know everything you need to know about me. If you want to know anything more, feel free to ask, however I can't promise an answer you'll like. Or any answer at all...
If your FML contains the words "I thought it would be a good idea/smart/funny to..." or "I was trying to impress..." it is automatically a YDI. No question, end of story.
"I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request." That is all. Have a nice day =)
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Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (3799)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (3799)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55592) - you deserved it (4768)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20083) - you deserved it (1343)
On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States
Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24959) - you deserved it (6048)
On 08/20/2012 at 9:25am - misc - by Maria (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)
Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (5284)
On 08/11/2012 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dafuqdidihear (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17943) - you deserved it (1618)
On 06/18/2012 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17096) - you deserved it (9080)
On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18771) - you deserved it (2420)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9201) - you deserved it (29289)
On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)
Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12569) - you deserved it (1976)
On 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by Dom - South Africa (Eastern Cape)
Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12776) - you deserved it (21327)
On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried to explain to my 23-year-old boyfriend the difference between "your" and "you're". I do this every other day, but it's like his head is permanently stuck in the first grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14669) - you deserved it (4801)
On 03/31/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by LiveLoveLys (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16018) - you deserved it (2525)
On 03/29/2012 at 4:16pm - work - by nicoleee - United States
Today, my boyfriend was such a coward that instead of breaking up with me, he changed his phone number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20700) - you deserved it (2209)
On 03/01/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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