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Valkyrie2012

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Valkyrie2012

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  • Number of visits : 488
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>KingRex</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 1:16am

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Valkyrie2012's favorite FMLs

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17713) - you deserved it (19319)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

#20050023
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (4892)

On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

#19592995
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25708) - you deserved it (4677)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

#19499543
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16536) - you deserved it (9126)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30311) - you deserved it (4427)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML

#18943395
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24023) - you deserved it (3223)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML

#18833133
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35587) - you deserved it (6803)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML

#17538600
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (5494)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10154) - you deserved it (77923)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

#16277125
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40160) - you deserved it (5283)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30076) - you deserved it (3227)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML

#8477900
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6418) - you deserved it (32053)

On 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by creamed (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

#7676063
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22304) - you deserved it (4688)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:19pm - work - by ouch (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

#7521211
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3925) - you deserved it (51789)

On 01/23/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rainydays79 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70256) - you deserved it (8190)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)



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