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Valdrek

Offline (the 10/17/2014 at 2:38am) | Search for a member

Valdrek

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3951
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Valdrek : I have been reading FML's since the app first came out four or so years ago now and still love and read them every single day.

I'm down to earth and I think I am level headed, it just depends on wether the person I'm speaking to is a knob head or not.

I love animals, all animals really...just not crawly little buggers. I HATE any kind of animal cruelty and feel strongly enough about it to kill to stop animal cruelty.

I believe in honor and duty.

KiK: DmitriK
Snapchat: jackusdanielsus

Valdrek's page activity

Visits<b>lulinator</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:59pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:46pm<b>nchic01</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:00pm<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:01am<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:54am<b>Wjanzen32</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 10:09pm<b>metalscales</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:08am<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:11pm<b>cmayer</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 3:07am<b>ChloeMeyers</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:41am<b>Jumbabaginji</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:47am<b>PrimalWeapons</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:10am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 8:44am<b>billionair11</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:24pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 4:07am<b>nikolina</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:42pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 12:01am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:38am

Valdrek's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of Valdrek's badges

Valdrek's favorite FMLs

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57533) - you deserved it (4823)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60484) - you deserved it (9138)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

#20627067
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61175) - you deserved it (3245)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46757) - you deserved it (9308)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75078) - you deserved it (9087)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47328) - you deserved it (4879)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52035) - you deserved it (17666)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68082) - you deserved it (10194)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48768) - you deserved it (21848)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28214) - you deserved it (49347)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43563) - you deserved it (5363)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43984) - you deserved it (6710)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

#20512105
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15816) - you deserved it (37864)

On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35002) - you deserved it (2944)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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Friday 17 October 2014

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