Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Valdrek

Search for a member

Valdrek

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3296
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Valdrek : I have been reading FML's since the app first came out four or so years ago now and still love and read them every single day.

I'm down to earth and I think I am level headed, it just depends on wether the person I'm speaking to is a knob head or not.

I love animals, all animals really...just not crawly little buggers. I HATE any kind of animal cruelty and feel strongly enough about it to kill to stop animal cruelty.

I believe in honor and duty.

KiK: DmitriK
Snapchat: jackusdanielsus

Valdrek's page activity

Visits<b>ChloeMeyers</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Jumbabaginji</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:47am<b>PrimalWeapons</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:10am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 8:44am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:53am<b>billionair11</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:24pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 4:07am<b>nikolina</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:42pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 12:01am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:38am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 9:08pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:34pm<b>hruiz</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:15pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:19pm<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 8:22am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 9:04pm<b>josiemorehouse</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Wjanzen32</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:00am

Valdrek's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of Valdrek's badges

Valdrek's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

#20104673
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34356) - you deserved it (2327)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (8967)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

#20099948
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27766) - you deserved it (2631)

On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34580) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26789) - you deserved it (3435)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

#20096065
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20368) - you deserved it (1573)

On 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm - love - by notgivingup (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30547) - you deserved it (4904)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

#20095343
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27609) - you deserved it (3024)

On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (4191)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (4540)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11957) - you deserved it (44699)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

#20087984
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31910) - you deserved it (3259)

On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

#20087001
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15651) - you deserved it (19690)

On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19705) - you deserved it (5665)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (5249)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: