[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Vaetrus

Search for a member

Vaetrus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1067
  • Number of comments : 231
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Vaetrus : I don't check comments twice. I barely check 'em the first time. If you are neurotic enough to want me to know your opinion of what I wrote, then write it down on a piece of paper and mail it to Santa. He knows how to get it to me. I will send a response back when I start believing in Santa.

Vaetrus's last visitors

Sakura13Plutogonemoonlight_dazegoodnightpunpunvoveraite

Vaetrus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Vaetrus's favorite FMLs

Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML

#6285115 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (31314) - you deserved it (3614)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:17am - misc - by stubblebutt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

#5973387 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (31146) - you deserved it (5715)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

#5806197 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (8178) - you deserved it (13322)

On 10/12/2009 at 9:44pm - animals - by catgirl911 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (32686) - you deserved it (2219)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

#5486035 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (37054) - you deserved it (3637)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by grossgross (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML

#5369029 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (49161) - you deserved it (2552)

On 09/20/2009 at 9:21am - love - by dreamdude (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

#5368590 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (24197) - you deserved it (4531)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went on a romantic date to the mountains to look a stars with a boy I had just met. We started kissing and he stopped, asking if it was rude for him to take me home now. After getting dropped off, he texted me saying we could never do that again and we should never talk about it. FML

#5210857 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (36562) - you deserved it (3570)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

#4995103 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (10383) - you deserved it (30188)

On 09/02/2009 at 7:19am - intimacy - by keepsmiling - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (35203) - you deserved it (6233)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiance's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiance, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML

#4895922 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (25487) - you deserved it (5472)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML

#4895245 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (36185) - you deserved it (5830)

On 08/28/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by MelanieP (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

#4859108 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (48264) - you deserved it (6490)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by LizP40 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

#4809359 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (53292) - you deserved it (6831)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was texting pictures from my old phone to my new one, including several dirty ones, when I noticed I wasn't receiving any of them on the new phone. I was texting the wrong number. FML

#4792669 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (8062) - you deserved it (39858)

On 08/24/2009 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)