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Usuario

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Usuario
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 June 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 881
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Usuario : Hello

Usuario's last visitors

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Usuario's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Usuario's favorite FMLs

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

#18633962
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24615) - you deserved it (16045)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15113) - you deserved it (28071)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

#17480166
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32053) - you deserved it (11027)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:20pm - love - by Leota (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35763) - you deserved it (5026)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11505) - you deserved it (55303)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

#16114978
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (8930)

On 05/10/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Dana (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34820) - you deserved it (30431)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
494 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33481) - you deserved it (47501)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got home from my holidays to find my flatmate has moved his girlfriend in without asking me. Not only does she walk around naked, she has also redecorated the rooms. FML

#14752507
246 comments

Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML

#14368305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23477) - you deserved it (9271)

On 12/28/2010 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29954) - you deserved it (3578)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34609) - you deserved it (11920)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49027) - you deserved it (2314)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said: "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML

#13017861
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31721) - you deserved it (4192)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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