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Usuario

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Usuario

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 June 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1350
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Usuario : Hello

Usuario's page activity

Visits<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:02am<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:04am<b>rabechan</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 1:00am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Le_Doctor</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:37am<b>dre82</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:22am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 7:05am<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 10:40pm<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>alienpotatochips</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 8:37pm<b>beenfreezin</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:58pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:31pm<b>swaggalikethat</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 4:10pm<b>mcrepas</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:08pm<b>lululatenight</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>Greenguy9</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:24am<b>Roskie</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 5:39am

Usuario's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Usuario's badges

Usuario's favorite FMLs

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

#20526546
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10701) - you deserved it (36593)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29349) - you deserved it (3982)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

#20508072
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38391) - you deserved it (2551)

On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

#20435818
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40207) - you deserved it (13533)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31380) - you deserved it (3441)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30819) - you deserved it (3426)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28690) - you deserved it (2782)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the second week in a row, my brother woke me up in the small hours of the morning begging me to help him figure out the math problem to turn off his phone's stupid-ass app alarm. FML

#20115354
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19256) - you deserved it (1549)

On 10/13/2012 at 6:25pm - misc - by fucking fratricidal (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (2294)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

#19920264
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (1496)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by Deadcat101 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37157) - you deserved it (3996)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

#19719938
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (4794)

On 06/02/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by lol112 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

#19401228
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (5175)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

#19401228
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (5175)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML

#19387058
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22328) - you deserved it (4369)

On 04/01/2012 at 6:08am - love - by BigBangCheater (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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