Usuario

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Offline (the 08/01/2016 at 9:40pm)

Usuario

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 June 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3828
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Usuario : Hello

Usuario's page activity

Visits<b>klawzor</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 9:40pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:40am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:08am<b>Thorzix</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:29am<b>akosua</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 4:50am<b>SuckyFMLs</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:37pm<b>jinx1995</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:23pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:02am<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:04am<b>rabechan</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 1:00am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Le_Doctor</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:37am<b>dre82</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:22am<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 10:40pm<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>alienpotatochips</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 8:37pm<b>beenfreezin</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:58pm

Fucked!<b>klawzor</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 3:40am

Usuario's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Usuario's badges

Usuario's favorite FMLs

Today, I baked my friend a cake for his 21st birthday. When I arrived at his house, his girlfriend, who hadn't made him anything, screamed at me for "making her look bad." She then took the cake, banned me from the party, and kicked me out. FML

by NZgirl92 / 04/14/2013 at 10:29pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

by bntje / 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Miscellaneous

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

by Snorlax / 04/13/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

by saywhat / 04/09/2013 at 7:05am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

by AAMBC4 / 04/09/2013 at 6:30am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 6:29am / Health

Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML

by La Guigne / 04/08/2013 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

by kimhinesvoinea / 04/07/2013 at 8:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

by unknown / 04/07/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

by ziggers10 / 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm / United States / Love

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous