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Usuario

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Usuario

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 June 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1174
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Usuario : Hello

Usuario's page activity

Visits<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:02am<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:04am<b>rabechan</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 1:00am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Le_Doctor</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:37am<b>dre82</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:22am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 7:05am<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 10:40pm<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>alienpotatochips</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 8:37pm<b>beenfreezin</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:58pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:31pm<b>swaggalikethat</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 4:10pm<b>mcrepas</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:08pm<b>lululatenight</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>Greenguy9</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:24am<b>Roskie</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 5:39am

Usuario's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Usuario's badges

Usuario's favorite FMLs

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48020) - you deserved it (13744)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43059) - you deserved it (18625) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46845) - you deserved it (4843)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68361) - you deserved it (10865)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29240) - you deserved it (9531) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML

#20581032
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27797) - you deserved it (7169) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/08/2013 at 5:10pm - misc - by La Guigne - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14707) - you deserved it (57750)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

#20578784
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14315) - you deserved it (39039)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:07am - misc - by kimhinesvoinea - United States

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

#20578428
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44196) - you deserved it (4876)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

#20578406
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45474) - you deserved it (2871)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

#20578323
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47078) - you deserved it (9148)

On 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by ziggers10 - United States

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22192) - you deserved it (65478)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
121 comments

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

#20566302
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42515) - you deserved it (3569) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)



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