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Usuario

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Usuario

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 June 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1494
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Usuario : Hello

Usuario's page activity

Visits<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:02am<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:04am<b>rabechan</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 1:00am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Le_Doctor</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:37am<b>dre82</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:22am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 7:05am<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 10:40pm<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>alienpotatochips</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 8:37pm<b>beenfreezin</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:58pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:31pm<b>swaggalikethat</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 4:10pm<b>mcrepas</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:08pm<b>lululatenight</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>Greenguy9</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:24am<b>Roskie</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 5:39am

Usuario's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Usuario's badges

Usuario's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41970) - you deserved it (5188)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

#20922788
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43551) - you deserved it (14432)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46775) - you deserved it (6521)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57068) - you deserved it (3374)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

#20909610
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39355) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm - health - by _/ | \_ (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (6535)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

#20827624
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50037) - you deserved it (3339)

On 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

#20824090
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55695) - you deserved it (4619)

On 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm - love - by (._. ) (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57504) - you deserved it (14329)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54037) - you deserved it (18149)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47133) - you deserved it (3764) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63985) - you deserved it (3436)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50442) - you deserved it (8804)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47039) - you deserved it (5276)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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