UsernameIsUsed

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UsernameIsUsed

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2362
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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UsernameIsUsed's page activity

Visits<b>jren207</b> - the 08/06/2011 at 10:54am<b>Stylin_Since_97</b> - the 08/06/2011 at 12:43am<b>Sookeh</b> - the 08/04/2011 at 8:16pm

UsernameIsUsed's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of UsernameIsUsed's badges

UsernameIsUsed's favorite FMLs

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

by NoPainNoGain / 06/05/2009 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

by toast / 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Work

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

by lolzor / 03/12/2009 at 8:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

by ak / 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML

by sprocket / 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm / Hong Kong / Love

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

by wideman / 02/28/2009 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

by 918boyz / 02/04/2009 at 5:23pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: "I'm keeping them just in case..." - "In case of what?" - "In case I want to dress up like an asshole". FML

by dude / 01/20/2009 at 9:01am / Love