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Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35473) - you totally deserved it (13691)
On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45940) - you totally deserved it (2005)
On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31989) - you totally deserved it (4203)
On 06/15/2009 at 1:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
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