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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Turtles_rock

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Turtles_rock
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1400
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Turtles_rock's favorite FMLs

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

#8519480 (475)

I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you deserved it (1945)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm - animals - by ughno - United States (Texas)

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

#8471293 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (14833) - you deserved it (1516)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:54am - intimacy - by trainhump (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (18877) - you deserved it (1434)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was developing film at walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking off my sweatshirt. This creepy old man approaches me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML

#7837856 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (21158) - you deserved it (2754)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by hotandbothered (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

#7744599 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (4729) - you deserved it (19550)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

#7606758 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (5442) - you deserved it (14176)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:35am - intimacy - by DuChaillu (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

#7598826 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (8029) - you deserved it (14287)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was given a ticket for running a red light. The reason? I was moving out of the way of an ambulance. The police officer watched it go by. FML

#7434371 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (22222) - you deserved it (1613)

On 01/19/2010 at 8:20am - misc - by Samaritan (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

#7212401 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (4202) - you deserved it (23885)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

#7056009 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (20645) - you deserved it (1724)

On 12/31/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by MorganRox26 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my report card from school. I pulled my grade up in Algebra from a D to an A. My parents told me that they never expected me to accomplish this, and good job but they've already enrolled me in boarding school. So much for all that extra credit and staying late after school to study. FML

#6900701 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (20014) - you deserved it (2024)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by bee (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had given up on finding my makeup bag with cell phone and iPod my mom had bought for me recently. So I went to art to join the group of girls with whom I share the back art studio of my school. One of them was talking about how she'd ripped off some bitch's stuff, and she held up my bag. FML

#6867947 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (26080) - you deserved it (1742)

On 12/21/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to sign up to a dating website. After having a long conversation with one of my matches about how much I hate my job, I decided to meet up with him. It was my boss. FML

#6866233 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (23946) - you deserved it (6762)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at a family party and everyone was seeing my new glasses for the first time. My 48 year old uncle told me that I look like a hot librarian and then grabbed my ass. He was still sober. FML

#6865964 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (24129) - you deserved it (1697)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by frapples1 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML

#6864986 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (19665) - you deserved it (8867)

On 12/21/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by notpregnant (woman) - United States (Virginia)