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TurkeySlab's FML badges
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TurkeySlab's favorite FMLs
Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
by dunicha / 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML
by BackAndForth / 10/18/2011 at 12:27am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Ca13b / 10/15/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML
by daddoesn'tknowbest / 10/13/2011 at 8:24am / United States / Kids
by wheezy / 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by squishylog / 08/12/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML
by f*cks_sake / 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by vaalcrawford / 05/11/2011 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML
by alopez1994 / 04/21/2011 at 1:28am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
by muffdriver / 12/26/2010 at 10:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
Today, I made salmon patties and boiled cabbage. I smelled smoke from my stove burner, but thought I spilled something in the burner. No big deal. Later, this horrible smell started coming from the stove. My husband took the stove apart, only to find that I had fried a mouse as well. FML
by Whitley / 11/04/2010 at 11:17am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by mr_p / 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…