TurkeySlab

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TurkeySlab

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 August 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1668
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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TurkeySlab's page activity

Visits<b>Destrukto</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:46pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:22am<b>Muffinypowers</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:31pm<b>bkc135</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 11:48am<b>Spark_Slicker</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 2:28am<b>CammieMac</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 2:19pm

TurkeySlab's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of TurkeySlab's badges

TurkeySlab's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

by dunicha / 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML

by BackAndForth / 10/18/2011 at 12:27am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

by Ca13b / 10/15/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

by daddoesn'tknowbest / 10/13/2011 at 8:24am / United States / Kids

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

by wheezy / 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

by squishylog / 08/12/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML

by f*cks_sake / 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

by vaalcrawford / 05/11/2011 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

by alopez1994 / 04/21/2011 at 1:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

by muffdriver / 12/26/2010 at 10:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I made salmon patties and boiled cabbage. I smelled smoke from my stove burner, but thought I spilled something in the burner. No big deal. Later, this horrible smell started coming from the stove. My husband took the stove apart, only to find that I had fried a mouse as well. FML

by Whitley / 11/04/2010 at 11:17am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

by mr_p / 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous