About TurboTurkey : Stuph
Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8410) - you deserved it (49770)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17053) - you deserved it (4367)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37299) - you deserved it (6753)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6734) - you deserved it (18196)
On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (6229)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5449) - you deserved it (16854)
On 04/27/2012 at 12:29am - health - by Weak Disposition (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17073) - you deserved it (1733)
On 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm - health - by crazyk2468 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19539) - you deserved it (5802)
On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10323) - you deserved it (34336)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14173) - you deserved it (24765)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15776) - you deserved it (2719)
On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5155) - you deserved it (32972)
On 02/22/2012 at 11:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17920) - you deserved it (2065)
On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States
Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (41491)
On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States
Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6127) - you deserved it (25839)
On 01/15/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by CA19oo - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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