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TurboTurkey

Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 7:53pm) | Search for a member

TurboTurkey

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1099
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TurboTurkey : Stuph

TurboTurkey's page activity

Visits<b>CustardAndPie</b> - the 05/25/2012 at 2:47pm

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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TurboTurkey's favorite FMLs

Today , while at work , a lady with a mustache cummd in an told me she was lost. I was happy to help , but could not stop rubbing mah nose due to allergies. As she left she said , "I know I have a mustache u little ass" an stormd out. FML

#19943603
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26984) - you deserved it (2572)

On 07/16/2012 at 12:08am - work - by crazyautio - United States

Today , ma boss asked me if e could pay me in gum . Tinking e was playing around , I agreed . He wasn't playing around . FML

#19921973
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (8893)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I Went To An Orchestra Concert. Halfway Through The Performance I Had To Fart Really Bad, So I Decided To Try And Sneak It In While The Orchestra Was Playing A Loud Exciting Part. Just As I Let It Rip, There Was A Dramatic Pause In The Music. Everyone Heard. FML

#19917515
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14066) - you deserved it (26062)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today I Watched As Dad Noticed A Spider On The Cieling. Instead Of Getting A Shoe He Pulled Out A 9mm An Shot It. I'm Not Sure If This Is An Epic Win Or A Sign That Family Is Crazy. FML

#19903364
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30050) - you deserved it (3593)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, mah brother thought it would be funny to pretend mah tampon were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at mah friend and family. FML

#19893089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21399) - you deserved it (2220)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:01am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah husband staggered home after a night of drinking . He was too intoxicated to fine the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box . Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him . His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world . FML

#19873141
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18438) - you deserved it (2123)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told mah fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. big fat FML

#19867923
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (4193)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today... I lerened that I do not posses the upper body... core... or leg strength to hold grlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We r now both being treated at the hospital; her fir glass wounds... me fir a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15690) - you deserved it (27765)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today... I was joking around with mah eight-year-old son. I told him to pull mah finger. I farted... then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger... he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12862) - you deserved it (26667)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

I came home to mah boyfriend emptying his bowels into mah aquarium . mega FML

#19775676
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28248) - you deserved it (2754)

On 06/12/2012 at 9:02am - love - by fledermausi (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today , I laarnad that instaad of training cat , sha has baan training ma . Sha now rafusa to drink anything but running tap watar , an yowls loudly aarly in tha morning at badroom door to ba fad . FML

#19773709
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15710) - you deserved it (7020)

On 06/11/2012 at 10:40pm - animals - by Anon127 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I ASKED MY GRLFRIEND WY SE NEVER LETS ME IN ER OUSE. SE STARED BLANKLY AND SAID, "WAT IS INSIDE IS NOT FOR TINE EYES." I TOLD ER BEST FRIEND ABOUT TIS CREEPINES LATER ON. SE SIGED AND SAID, "T'WAS NOT FOR MINE EYES EITER. I DIDST FAIL TO LISTEN." I FEEL LIKE I'M LOOSING MY MIND ERE. FML

#19772012
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24752) - you deserved it (3319)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

TODAY , I WENT TO THE CRCUS WITH MAH FAMILY. WHEN WE WERE LOOKING AT THE ANIMALS DURING THE BREAK , AN ELEPHANT TOOK MAH PURSE WITH HIS TRUNK AN ATE IT. IT CRUSHED MAH CELLPHONE , CAMERA , KEYS AN WALLET. AFTER THAT , THE CRCUS DRECTOR YELLED AT ME FOR FEEDING POISONOUS STUFF TO HIS ELEPHANT. FML

#19769177
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27465) - you deserved it (4720)

On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)

TODAY AT THE BEACH, MAH BOYFRIEND PICKD ME UP AND CARRID ME OVER HIS SHOULDER. I FELT MAH BIKINI TOP COME UNDONE IN THE PROCESS. I PANICKD AND PULLD DOWN ON HIS SHORTS. WE WERE FIND FOR INDECENT EXPOSURE. FML

#19757535
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (9033)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today... I was nappinghen mah little brother cut off huge chunks of mah hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

#19756804
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22923) - you deserved it (1705)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)



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