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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Tromboner011

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Tromboner011
  • Town/Country : Pensacola, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 June 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 227
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Tromboner011 : I play trombone

Tromboner011's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Tromboner011's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML

#1782445 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (35401) - you deserved it (3308)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:11pm - animals - by jonboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (18086) - you deserved it (90079)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (17108) - you deserved it (61642)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

#1192278 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (61219) - you deserved it (11958)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by BerryRockstar (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (735)

I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (210189)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML

#859604 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (54967) - you deserved it (134474)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

#709735 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (87830) - you deserved it (5531)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was setting up my laptop's fingerprint scanner. It worked, but in the name of science, I decided to put my penis on it to see if it could recognize it. When I was trying to login via my penis print, my mom walked in. FML

#498194 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (20351) - you deserved it (98759)

On 03/20/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

#459925 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (69476) - you deserved it (11092)

On 03/19/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by Zoe123 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363082) - you deserved it (401431)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)