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Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28984) - you deserved it (1785)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4475) - you deserved it (24673)
On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11073) - you deserved it (20452)
On 02/18/2012 at 10:49am - love - by sandysmith - United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19320) - you deserved it (3823)
On 02/15/2012 at 12:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18877) - you deserved it (13397)
On 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19584) - you deserved it (1967)
On 02/07/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by courtneynaked (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15088) - you deserved it (4325)
On 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm - misc - by KDM - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11598) - you deserved it (21917)
On 02/04/2012 at 5:16am - intimacy - by mattttbob - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I realized that mixing alcohol with my medication causes me to lose my memory. I went to see my favorite band in concert last night and I can't remember a single song they played. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7685) - you deserved it (28155)
Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." And then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (2201)
On 01/23/2012 at 4:56am - work - by FuturePolice (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19344) - you deserved it (6310)
On 01/21/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Russian Federation
Today, I found out that when you are sitting on a full bench at a bus stop, some crazy person will come sit on you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18473) - you deserved it (1877)
On 01/19/2012 at 10:46pm - misc - by BadassRumbleroar - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19839) - you deserved it (10112)
On 01/14/2012 at 11:14am - misc - by Julez - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (2326)
On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had gum surgery. I can't laugh. I can't smile. I can't talk. I can't eat. All I can do is wait for the pain medication to kick in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20899) - you deserved it (1588)
On 01/11/2012 at 3:03am - health - by In Pain (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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