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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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Mobility
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Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5407) - you deserved it (54858)
On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10015) - you deserved it (34381)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35933) - you deserved it (3355)
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26815) - you deserved it (3940)
On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43613) - you deserved it (7674)
On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11486) - you deserved it (26208)
On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11486) - you deserved it (26208)
On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (4086)
On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (4086)
On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27890) - you deserved it (4963)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27890) - you deserved it (4963)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40966) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36891) - you deserved it (2195)
On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15762) - you deserved it (1863)
On 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm - misc - by Meowingtons500 - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (6508)
On 11/26/2011 at 3:50pm - love - by Rich (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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