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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23403) - you deserved it (2527)
On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13454) - you deserved it (17784)
On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17503) - you deserved it (3984)
On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23760) - you deserved it (2625)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50736) - you deserved it (3669)
On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)
Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5322) - you deserved it (14361)
On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24456) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16596) - you deserved it (7486)
On 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8634) - you deserved it (17960)
On 03/27/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by MattBC97 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23052) - you deserved it (13321)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19883) - you deserved it (6927)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6806) - you deserved it (21573)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13947) - you deserved it (20565)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26555) - you deserved it (4993)
On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12307) - you deserved it (24004)
On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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