Torrey_Turner

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Torrey_Turner

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1223
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Torrey_Turner : I get bitches.

Torrey_Turner's page activity

Visits<b>Fennex3</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 10:13pm<b>abby1212</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 3:25pm<b>Triplehinge</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 8:32pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:36am<b>bballer4life895</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:55pm<b>starr98980</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 2:07am<b>saidoh</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:46pm<b>limitedition</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 12:48pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 6:04am<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 6:29pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 11:58am

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Torrey_Turner's favorite FMLs

Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML

by TheNaturalOrderofThingsSucks / 09/10/2012 at 11:13pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

by Nicole / 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, the handle in the port-a-potty broke off, with me inside. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 6:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

by StaplerScared / 11/08/2011 at 9:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

by wellthisisawkward80 / 11/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

by benji / 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

by bakedplum / 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a group of attractive guys at the mall. One of them looked exactly like a friend, so I decided to take a picture. Trying to be discreet, I put my phone up to my ear as if I was making a phone call, and pressed the capture button. The flash went off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML

by Katrin / 10/30/2011 at 3:13pm / Norway / Transportation

Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my doctor told me that the reason I'm losing my eyesight is because I'm straining my eyes, and that the best thing for me to do is to limit my time in front of computers. I spent years in college to get my current job which involves sitting in front of computers. FML

by comedybreak / 10/30/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I learned that when the power goes out at my house, my family thinks you can no longer flush the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 2:32am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 1:02am / United States / Love