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Tomj

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Tomj

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  • Number of visits : 215
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Tomj's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Tomj's favorite FMLs

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99346) - you deserved it (11614)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

#20774578
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44946) - you deserved it (9163)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by mylifesucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42072) - you deserved it (73198)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27317) - you deserved it (7943)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML

#17743700
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20887) - you deserved it (11142)

On 09/14/2011 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

#17333290
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29641) - you deserved it (3042)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:05pm - kids - by burn - United States (Florida)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41683) - you deserved it (3748)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML

#15025975
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (3840)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:06am - work - by sickly -

Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML

#12528127
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35499) - you deserved it (3795)

On 08/14/2010 at 10:25pm - misc - by carless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML

#10777263
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31952) - you deserved it (5403)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28472) - you deserved it (3086)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19334) - you deserved it (239378)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML

#3949695
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72287) - you deserved it (3492)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:43am - love - by mylifereallyISeffed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (296845)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)



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