About TomHarrow : I used to post FMLs but then I took an arrow to the knee.
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Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
TomHarrow's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 12:08pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML
by MillyMan / 02/07/2012 at 12:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
by ABBenzin / 02/01/2012 at 11:11am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 01/26/2012 at 4:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by sad life / 01/26/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Love
by anon. / 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 10:00am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Miscellaneous
by mariet / 02/11/2011 at 1:13am / United States / Health
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Miscellaneous
by NoSleep / 09/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML
by Anonymous / 08/07/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I was travelling in a car. As I was discreetly picking my nose, we drove over a speed bump.… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…