Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Toggybbz

Search for a member

Toggybbz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2467
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Toggybbz's page activity

Visits<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 5:14am<b>hailey2649</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:01am<b>paradoxalogic</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 5:47pm<b>yourhomeboy</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 9:42pm<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 1:36am<b>RosiePatosie</b> - the 10/12/2010 at 12:59am<b>Phustercluck</b> - the 10/11/2010 at 3:13am<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 09/08/2010 at 3:03am

Toggybbz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Toggybbz's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20973) - you deserved it (79935)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

#946704
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147821) - you deserved it (21635)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he had sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

#268539
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68461) - you deserved it (3051)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

#251133
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74796) - you deserved it (7905)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

#225993
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14526) - you deserved it (44130)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by thebickster (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54748) - you deserved it (14296)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML

#161077
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42441) - you deserved it (26447)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm - love - by sprocket (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

#129411
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52500) - you deserved it (5879)

On 02/24/2009 at 11:33pm - misc - by asdfghjkl_12 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

#97729
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91836) - you deserved it (6885)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

#79669
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49110) - you deserved it (4880)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by dpl (man) - United States (New York)

Today, me and my boyfriend were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML

#71498
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33299) - you deserved it (5290)

On 02/18/2009 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by happyasaclam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (234532) - you deserved it (81894)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML

#45910
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14710) - you deserved it (79248)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by Mofisto (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentines Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML

#45880
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39639) - you deserved it (2662)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by kolgate (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

#33444
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51115) - you deserved it (5501)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Duckie W (woman) - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: