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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20802) - you deserved it (3691)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25975) - you deserved it (3491)
On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36257) - you deserved it (6502)
On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46157) - you deserved it (6115)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46029) - you deserved it (9818)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44475) - you deserved it (3158)
On 06/17/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14824) - you deserved it (43393)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44950) - you deserved it (2387)
On 05/25/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by cakegirl (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30931) - you deserved it (6709)
On 05/25/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by MandyPanda (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23807) - you deserved it (51231)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13915) - you deserved it (44704)
On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50246) - you deserved it (39082)
On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39863) - you deserved it (2643)
On 05/16/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by notacreep (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48334) - you deserved it (593)
On 04/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while walking through the halls of my high school, me and my boyfriend shared a quick kiss. A young teacher walks by and tells us to stop due to Personal Display of Affection rules at our school. She then looks at my boyfriend and tells him he could do so much better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55991) - you deserved it (4395)
On 04/25/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
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