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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (6024)
On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11997) - you deserved it (23090)
On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21653) - you deserved it (2929)
On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (2316)
On 12/23/2011 at 5:53am - love - by johncabbot25 (man) - Canada
Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25259) - you deserved it (2341)
On 12/22/2011 at 3:09am - love - by Jean - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22508) - you deserved it (2886)
On 12/21/2011 at 8:41pm - animals - by kaipodable - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (8287)
On 12/14/2011 at 12:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20590) - you deserved it (12260)
On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24164) - you deserved it (3277)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (4995)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22098) - you deserved it (2612)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of
Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9217) - you deserved it (31797)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob’s called. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20246) - you deserved it (2021)
On 12/06/2011 at 7:26am - work - by boobywaitress (woman) - Australia
Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7696) - you deserved it (49150)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20154) - you deserved it (4440)
On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Monday 20 May 2013
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