About Toby13 : I am a fun loving young adult/teenager. I play sports, watch anime and a bunch more things. Message me if u want to be my friend
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50 favourites
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Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38123) - you deserved it (2636)
On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45373) - you deserved it (7530)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8840) - you deserved it (31172)
Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28377) - you deserved it (4124)
On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12618) - you deserved it (3129)
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (2153)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry it gets better." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (1797)
On 01/26/2012 at 6:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34577) - you deserved it (6304)
On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22365) - you deserved it (4184)
On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8555) - you deserved it (66033)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I saw a group of attractive guys at the mall. One of them looked exactly like a friend, so I decided to take a picture. Trying to be discreet, I put my phone up to my ear as if I was making a phone call, and pressed the capture button. The flash went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6300) - you deserved it (29070)
On 10/30/2011 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33282) - you deserved it (3927)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42351) - you deserved it (2865)
On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31539) - you deserved it (7624)
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28319) - you deserved it (5110)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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