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Toby13

Offline (the 07/12/2014 at 6:49am) | Search for a member

Toby13

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 790
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Toby13 : I am a person. I play sports, watch anime and a bunch more things. I don't bite so talk to me

Toby13's page activity

Visits<b>levix</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 2:19am<b>cierrababby9</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 7:55pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 9:40am<b>2856B9BD</b> - the 09/27/2012 at 5:40pm<b>Wolf_rock</b> - the 09/02/2012 at 1:53pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/18/2012 at 1:01am<b>clm123455</b> - the 08/11/2012 at 6:16pm<b>kiwi2006</b> - the 08/05/2012 at 7:26am<b>outoftown</b> - the 08/04/2012 at 12:29am<b>L_Lovegood</b> - the 07/27/2012 at 7:53am<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 2:06am<b>Briscuit</b> - the 06/02/2012 at 2:26am<b>ILike_Dancing123</b> - the 04/25/2012 at 7:18am<b>adeel</b> - the 04/10/2012 at 1:34am

Toby13's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

See all of Toby13's badges

Toby13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45848) - you deserved it (8285)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43047) - you deserved it (6103)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I drove 2 hours to my sister's wedding, only to find out my invitation was sent to me by mistake. She had me kicked out. FML

#20712353
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56246) - you deserved it (4405)

On 06/07/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by hopeyoushityourintestinesout (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
172 comments

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

#20039589
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20755) - you deserved it (3088)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm - love - by OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47305) - you deserved it (3354)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56307) - you deserved it (10326)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10669) - you deserved it (36747)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34764) - you deserved it (5443)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17235) - you deserved it (21737)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33374) - you deserved it (3025)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry it gets better." FML

#18914321
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33637) - you deserved it (2536)

On 01/26/2012 at 6:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41530) - you deserved it (8042)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

#18561350
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (5415)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

#18550622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40404) - you deserved it (4057)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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