Tippmann

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Tippmann

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 343
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tippmann : Hi, my name is Dylan. I'm 19 just graduamikated high schools and am about to ship out for the Army. Essentially I'm and a normal teenager ready to get out of the house, leave my hometown behind and not look back. When I get out I am planning to go to college and than become a police officer. My hobbies include, staying home and ignoring all incoming attempts at people trying to communicate with me while I go though an entire TV series in a week. (I absolutely love movies by the way.) I like to run long distance. When I'm not on Netflix or being a Pirate I am listening to music and exploring everything there is too on the web. My Music interest is vast and I am open to any and everything. I am defiantly an Introvert and need my alone time. If you for some reason want to know more feel free to message me!

Tippmann's page activity

Visits<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 7:18am<b>biggiecox96</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 11:37am<b>raisingbears</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 5:27am<b>AyoMissGigi</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:45pm<b>iDuckedShePowed</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 3:59pm<b>psyduck1219</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 3:55pm<b>Djoyce98</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:16am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 4:51pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 9:50pm<b>abbylickstoes</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:21pm

Tippmann's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Tippmann's badges

Tippmann's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

by GymBattle / 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 4:38am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Transportation

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

by frustrated / 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm / Ireland (Kerry) / Intimacy

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2013 at 6:52am / United States / Kids

Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

by insomniac x2 / 08/15/2013 at 3:56pm / Mexico (Nuevo Leon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

by father of the year / 08/01/2013 at 2:21am / United States / Kids

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids