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Tippmann

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Tippmann

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 145
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tippmann : Hi, my name is Dylan. I'm 19 just graduamikated high schools and am about to ship out for the Army. Essentially I'm and a normal teenager ready to get out of the house, leave my hometown behind and not look back. When I get out I am planning to go to college and than become a police officer. My hobbies include, staying home and ignoring all incoming attempts at people trying to communicate with me while I go though an entire TV series in a week. (I absolutely love movies by the way.) I like to run long distance. When I'm not on Netflix or being a Pirate I am listening to music and exploring everything there is too on the web. My Music interest is vast and I am open to any and everything. I am defiantly an Introvert and need my alone time. If you for some reason want to know more feel free to message me!

Tippmann's page activity

Visits<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 7:18am<b>biggiecox96</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 11:37am<b>raisingbears</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 5:27am<b>AyoMissGigi</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:45pm<b>iDuckedShePowed</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 3:59pm<b>psyduck1219</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 3:55pm<b>Djoyce98</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:16am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 4:51pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 9:50pm<b>abbylickstoes</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:21pm

Tippmann's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Tippmann's badges

Tippmann's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (14720)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37234) - you deserved it (10599)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40131) - you deserved it (2758)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52109) - you deserved it (3116)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50737) - you deserved it (6639)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44956) - you deserved it (7362)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

#20838885
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42829) - you deserved it (7705)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by insomniac x2 (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59263) - you deserved it (5423)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58953) - you deserved it (10542)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

#20813368
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59884) - you deserved it (6351)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36853) - you deserved it (2410)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)



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