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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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TidusBlade

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TidusBlade
  • Town/Country : Dubai, United Arab Emirates
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 June 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 38964
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About TidusBlade : Today, I am a very cubish, stripy green expensive watermelon. Some kid decided it was a good idea to play catch with me. Next thing I know I'm an explosive mess on the supermarket floor. FML

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

TidusBlade's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a panic attack so I called my parents. My brother answered to say my parents couldn't come to the phone because they were watching 24. Its ten o'clock and 24 is not on now. They were watching 24 on TiVo and couldn't pause it to come to the phone. FML

#1006191 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (42860) - you deserved it (3351)

On 04/15/2009 at 10:32pm - misc - by happyharriet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

#1002619 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (65886) - you deserved it (4533)

On 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML

#1001341 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (6838) - you deserved it (59426)

On 04/15/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by ananomoose - United States (Vermont)

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

#924163 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (87609) - you deserved it (2863)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

#898279 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (5316) - you deserved it (54446)

On 04/10/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by blah (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML

#880464 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (35052) - you deserved it (26494)

On 04/09/2009 at 12:53am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (30150) - you deserved it (70068)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40702) - you deserved it (114325)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I drop it off as usual. But my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6year old patient. FML

#819643 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (88385) - you deserved it (4277)

On 04/05/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

#706614 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (58653)

On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

#622257 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (80474) - you deserved it (6259)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by ThanksMom (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was setting up my laptop's fingerprint scanner. It worked, but in the name of science, I decided to put my penis on it to see if it could recognize it. When I was trying to login via my penis print, my mom walked in. FML

#498194 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (20350) - you deserved it (98755)

On 03/20/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

#432766 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (32249) - you deserved it (68350)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:22am - intimacy - by myennechee (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I came back to my appartment to find that I couldn't watch certain channels on my tv. When I called the tv company I found out my parents had put a 'parental block' on all my favorite channels. Im 22 and rent an appartment with my friends. FML

#417086 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (75008) - you deserved it (5087)

On 03/17/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

#158702 (38)

I agree, your life sucks (38949) - you deserved it (6794)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:30am - work - by eggs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)