This member hasn't filled in the description.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42557) - you deserved it (5222)
On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43002) - you deserved it (2743)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40087) - you deserved it (2559)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40717) - you deserved it (4054)
On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46692) - you deserved it (9491)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36933) - you deserved it (5411)
On 06/05/2013 at 12:25am - work - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26721) - you deserved it (29418)
On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36339) - you deserved it (2858)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38738) - you deserved it (8551)
On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42114) - you deserved it (8724)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)
Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39870) - you deserved it (4486) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51944) - you deserved it (10799)
On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States
Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43823) - you deserved it (2712)
On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany
Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31887) - you deserved it (4327)
On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44915) - you deserved it (7239)
On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
