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Thebluez

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Thebluez
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 July 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2740
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Thebluez's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

#1214508
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69809) - you deserved it (3964)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by RockedSystem - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34181) - you deserved it (90456)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (448656) - you deserved it (25555)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the supermarket and I see this little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I go over to him and ask if his mom knows where he is. The boy turns around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML

#1054716
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25036) - you deserved it (41742)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by jules (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27377) - you deserved it (258206)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10972) - you deserved it (99939)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML

#1010714
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23378) - you deserved it (132243)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (655374) - you deserved it (48793)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and lead the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML

#883933
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46533) - you deserved it (4057)

On 04/09/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by luh8r (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got all my co-workers motivated. We were all going to quit and walk out the door. I went first. I gave an emotional speech to my boss and threw my uniform to the ground. Then I turned around to to see the rest follow, they all began laughing. They didn't. They WANTED me to quit. FML

#877150
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43531) - you deserved it (25677)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by ineedanewjob (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328947) - you deserved it (35700)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12854) - you deserved it (207875)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States



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