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Thebluez

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Thebluez
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 July 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2749
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Thebluez's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6847) - you deserved it (63449)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. Having a moment of insanity, I crumbled and threw the receipt at the cashier, while yelling "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2990) - you deserved it (45598)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. Having a moment of insanity, I crumbled and threw the receipt at the cashier, while yelling "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2990) - you deserved it (45598)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

#6949420
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34629) - you deserved it (1874)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26133) - you deserved it (9878)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML

#6589221
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (3433)

On 12/03/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Sub (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

#6276981
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (6897)

On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a karaoke bar that my girlfriend works at. I'm a halfway decent singer, so I picked out a song we both liked and decided to give it a go. Halfway through the song I sneezed, tripped, fell off the stage and knocked myself out in front of my girlfriend and fifty bar patrons. FML

#6269978
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (4562)

On 11/12/2009 at 6:00am - misc - by helluvasinger (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML

#6120564
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30039) - you deserved it (4567)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:39pm - kids - by Chubby (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML

#6017805
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7878) - you deserved it (24545)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that being rhythmically challenged really really sucks. I was trying to dance around sexily for my girlfriend, and I was doing that one move where you thrust your pelvis forward, and swing you hand from side to side. I hit myself in the nuts. FML

#5460176
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6049) - you deserved it (20713)

On 09/25/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Dumbfuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML

#5263427
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37432) - you deserved it (3216)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML

#4823053
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42002) - you deserved it (4572)

On 08/25/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by offendedfemme (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54825) - you deserved it (10824)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42879) - you deserved it (11512)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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