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Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20926) - you deserved it (5145)
On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5426) - you deserved it (50883)
On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5426) - you deserved it (50883)
On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. Having a moment of insanity, I crumbled and threw the receipt at the cashier, while yelling "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2861) - you deserved it (44409)
On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. Having a moment of insanity, I crumbled and threw the receipt at the cashier, while yelling "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2861) - you deserved it (44409)
On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31872) - you deserved it (1514)
On 12/26/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22875) - you deserved it (8321)
On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was fired from my job as a middle school teacher. Why? I told an 8th grader that Santa Claus wasn't real. He cried and told my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27238) - you deserved it (8613)
On 12/18/2009 at 4:15pm - work - by Firedfor..... (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27966) - you deserved it (2901)
On 12/03/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Sub (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25399) - you deserved it (6830)
On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a karaoke bar that my girlfriend works at. I'm a halfway decent singer, so I picked out a song we both liked and decided to give it a go. Halfway through the song I sneezed, tripped, fell off the stage and knocked myself out in front of my girlfriend and fifty bar patrons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20558) - you deserved it (4288)
On 11/12/2009 at 6:00am - misc - by helluvasinger (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28035) - you deserved it (3922)
On 11/02/2009 at 3:39pm - kids - by Chubby (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6230) - you deserved it (18258)
On 10/27/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that being rhythmically challenged really really sucks. I was trying to dance around sexily for my girlfriend, and I was doing that one move where you thrust your pelvis forward, and swing you hand from side to side. I hit myself in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4421) - you deserved it (14756)
On 09/25/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Dumbfuck (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36840) - you deserved it (3190)
On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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