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Thebluez

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Thebluez
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 July 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2743
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Thebluez's favorite FMLs

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5134) - you deserved it (23902)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

#7644201
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8112) - you deserved it (22141)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by Whoops - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29533) - you deserved it (6108)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

#7594942
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31681) - you deserved it (1886)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents got me a new computer for my birthday. They also took the liberty of throwing out my old computer, with 8 years of photos, videos, music, documents, emails, and bookmarks on it. But that's okay, I had a backup. They threw that out too. FML

#7591747
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32071) - you deserved it (1801)

On 01/26/2010 at 4:25pm - misc - by computergeek (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

#7584651
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46308) - you deserved it (2267)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:35am - love - by Junior (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

#7571238
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23062) - you deserved it (5739)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:46pm - health - by Thorin (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my fiancée texts me while out at a restaurant. She told me that she saw one of my high school friends there, and that he asked "How's Douglas doing?". She then asked me who Douglas is. Douglas is my legal name. We've been together for over three years and she didn't know. FML

#7564897
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18183) - you deserved it (7442)

On 01/25/2010 at 6:06am - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24206) - you deserved it (2580)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25241) - you deserved it (3814)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15589) - you deserved it (39859)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML

#7552135
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51193) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm - love - by weddingbells (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

#7550424
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28897) - you deserved it (3681)

On 01/24/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by owned (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

#7548356
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24343) - you deserved it (6599)

On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States



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