About The_Weirdo : Am I strange? Yes. Do I hate you? Depends. If I offend you, there is either a good reason(like you were being a dumbass) or I'm in a bad mood. I like pretty much everyone, except the total dipshits. Of course, there are a lot of dipshits, so I don't really like people after all. Oh well, if we can have a logical argument, I suppose you aren't all that bad. Reason FTW!
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The_Weirdo's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad gave me a speech about being gay. He said he'll accept me if that's who I truly am, but he wants me to think it over first. I'm an actor in a play. I had to explain the concept of wearing costumes and acting like someone else to him. For the third time. FML
by sealpop09 / 06/30/2011 at 10:36am / United States (Colorado) / Work
by wispywee / 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML
by Drunken Sailor / 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
by ashhatches / 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by MakeMyDay_27 / 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by Nice 2 inch / 06/27/2011 at 8:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by luni / 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love
Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
by Mommy / 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/25/2011 at 4:39pm / Switzerland (Vaud) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML
by Anna / 06/18/2011 at 12:54pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Health
by Macy / 06/11/2011 at 4:36pm / Italy (Lazio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML
by Anonyme / 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals
by gabxoxo03 / 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
by lilben / 06/10/2011 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…