Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

The_Master

Search for a member

The_Master

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 April 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17852
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

The_Master's page activity

Visits<b>CharismaGeek</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:57pm<b>boar223</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:13pm<b>belladonnafleur</b> - the 09/21/2009 at 8:17pm<b>JukeboxBunny</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 1:13am<b>theflamezbegin</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 10:35am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 6:33pm<b>jpi13</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 5:55pm<b>lizarddx0x0</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 5:34pm<b>IAmBridgette</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 3:42pm<b>ohhboyy</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 7:37pm<b>Polionixon</b> - the 06/10/2009 at 10:14am<b>ilufyoo</b> - the 06/09/2009 at 4:15pm<b>Yuri_Fan_Girl</b> - the 06/05/2009 at 8:03pm<b>purelife</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 1:17am<b>hitherestranger</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 9:21pm<b>blue16</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 1:52pm<b>bob123456</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 6:47pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 2:40am

The_Master's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

The_Master's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48599) - you deserved it (20964)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML

#2209571
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50148) - you deserved it (7936)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

#2207384
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59424) - you deserved it (5965)

On 05/23/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by beatricesank (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

#2207384
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59424) - you deserved it (5965)

On 05/23/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by beatricesank (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my brother and I were standing at the baggage claim, waiting for our luggage to come out. We were commenting on all the bags that appeared, and when two large hiking packs came out I exclaimed "What kind of cunts go backpacking in New York?" The old couple standing next to us, apparently. FML

#2203272
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6665) - you deserved it (78174)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by beavis - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

#2202679
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37296) - you deserved it (31847)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

#1429978
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61112) - you deserved it (5132)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

#1429892
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18040) - you deserved it (52166)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15348) - you deserved it (55944)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

#1423979
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20237) - you deserved it (57236)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by fuckspellcheck (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22875) - you deserved it (100939)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

#1415940
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14838) - you deserved it (81345)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:53am - love - by H-B (man) - United States

Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

#908452
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51915) - you deserved it (3269)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: