About The_Instigator : I'm that guy who always tangles your headphones when you're not paying attention.
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Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9634) - you deserved it (28454)
On 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by mycedes - United States
Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15941) - you deserved it (21545)
On 10/26/2011 at 12:14pm - money - by Pimaan - United States
Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (2944)
On 10/26/2011 at 3:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to the hospital with severe chest pain, thinking it was a heart attack. Turns out now I just can't have booze, pop, chocolate, fruit with skins, seeds, tomatoes, or mint. I'd rather have the heart attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20845) - you deserved it (2537)
On 10/23/2011 at 9:37pm - health - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45607) - you deserved it (3601)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to come up with a reward system for getting my boyfriend to brush his teeth daily. He's 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22274) - you deserved it (4995)
On 10/23/2011 at 2:23am - health - by lynnie - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21503) - you deserved it (5921)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24316) - you deserved it (5156)
On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you deserved it (2747)
On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11353) - you deserved it (33274)
On 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28566) - you deserved it (2072)
On 10/22/2011 at 7:16pm - misc - by Bree - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8734) - you deserved it (26256)
On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17540) - you deserved it (12010) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I got into a pretty heated argument with my boss. On my way out the door I told him he would be lucky if I came back to work. Unfortunately, I left the interior light on in my truck and it drained the battery. I had to go back in and ask for a jump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8623) - you deserved it (22209)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14310) - you deserved it (41030) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Monday 17 June 2013
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