About The_Instigator : I'm that guy who always tangles your headphones when you're not paying attention.
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The_Instigator's favorite FMLs
Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML
by mycedes / 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Pimaan / 10/26/2011 at 12:14pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 3:41am / United States / Health
Today, I went to the hospital with severe chest pain, thinking it was a heart attack. Turns out now I just can't have booze, pop, chocolate, fruit with skins, seeds, tomatoes, or mint. I'd rather have the heart attack. FML
by heartsick / 10/23/2011 at 9:37pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by lynnie / 10/23/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 1:30am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
by me / 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Maine) / Kids
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
by pretty_coin / 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML
by Bree / 10/22/2011 at 7:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Brony / 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
by titoutou222 / 10/22/2011 at 8:40am / France / Kids
Today, I got into a pretty heated argument with my boss. On my way out the door I told him he would be lucky if I came back to work. Unfortunately, I left the interior light on in my truck and it drained the battery. I had to go back in and ask for a jump. FML
by bob / 10/22/2011 at 12:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…